Today I was woken up at 7:45 am to a dream I was having in which there were spiders crawling all over my hand. Oh, yeah, my mom also came in to ask if i was going on the college tour with her and my dad and sister. Why not? So I hopped out of bed and got ready. Not really, I lazed around for a bit convincing myself the spiders weren’t real. Anyway that’s the abbreviated version.
When we got to Elizabethtown, we drove around campus for a bit, then my mom goes, “Look! A natural health center!” Why she felt the need to point that out I have no idea. I replied “Yeah, right next to a graveyard.” One of the great joys I find in life is making snide remarks. They make me feel clever. And most of them have something to do with irony. I find a lot of things in life to be very ironic. To me, irony is hilarious. Life is one big joke. Like we live, basically so we can die. Kinda morbid, I know, but it’s sort of true. We spend our lives searching for our purpose, or something we enjoy doing or, if you will, are ‘called’ to do. And if you really think about it, living life is kind of… pointless. Now don’t report me to the counselor and be like ‘she’s having thoughts of suicide,’ because a.) you’d be wrong, I’m not suicidal and b.) you’d also be wrong because I’m only speaking the truth. Also, I couldn’t think of a different, nicer word instead of ‘pointless.’ Here’s where I’m going to contradict myself. Life really isn’t pointless! I warned you. You’re welcome. So anyway, life is pointless until you find a reason for you to be here. And here’s where my thoughts are kinda entangled and confused/confusing. That doesn’t mean that if you never find a point to life then you should kill yourself, because THAT would really be pointless. That’s an entirely different blog, and one that is kind of upsetting to I’m going to avoid talking about it any more. What I’m trying to say is that it’s dumb to walk around going through the motions of life without trying to find something for you to do. I still feel like none of this makes sense even though I’ve tried describing my thoughts in several different words. I don’t think the English language has words for what I’m trying to explain. I’ll look for them in like, French or Russian or something. Then I’ll get back to you.
Back to my irony. Before I went off on this tangent on the pointlessness of life. I do that a lot I think… Go off on tangents. (Par example…) It’s like in Les Misérables. Jean Valjean, affectionately known as 24601, dies a little while after Javert kills himself. For those of you who don’t know the plot of Hugo’s novel, or the movie or musical based off of that here’s what you need to know to understand my example: Jean Valjean is put in prison for 19 years for stealing bread. He gets out and doesn’t show his papers saying that he is a “dangerous man,” so the police officer Javert tries to hunt him down. Valjean is clever and manages to evade him over and over again, but must continue to run from Javert pretty much his whole life. You should really watch the movie or see the show. The book is supersuper long. Anyway, it makes me wonder if Valjean knew that Javert had died, if he would not have given up and passed on himself. Maybe if you’ve seen the movie you disagree, but those are just my thoughts. I can pretty much picture the meme: “MORTAL ENEMY GIVES UP AFTER YEARS OF CHASING. DIES.” Haha, Les Mis jokes… So what do you think about irony? Are coincidences kind of the same thing? Like is it just a coincidence that a graveyard ended up next to a health center? Probably the other way around, but you understand. Maybe.
Songs You Should Listen To:
One Red Thread by Blind Pilot
Young Blood by The Naked and Famous
The Funeral by Band of Horses
Down by Jason Walker
Come Around by Rosi Golan
Sail by AWOLNATION
How the Day Sounds by Greg Laswell
All These Things That I’ve Done by The Killers