I don’t really understand how or when a relationship starts. I’m not just talking about a romantic relationship, but relationships with friends and family and even negative relationships. I don’t remember when or why I became good friends with the people I am friends with now. I don’t know why I stopped being friends with other people. Or why I hardly ever get along with my younger sister.
The relationships that WE have with people are the hardest to understand. If you’re watching your friend slowly come closer to having a romantic relationship, or you’re reading a book, it’s easier to see what happened to cause this or that. Like cause and effect. You’re the one on the outside looking in, and you have a different perspective.
In our own lives, we have only our own perspective unless a.) others choose to share theirs’ with you or b.) you can read minds, which would be AWESOME if you could. Thus far, I have not met anyone who could do that. Unfortunately.
AND. Our perspectives are usually sadly one-sided in our own favor, so we are not the best judges of our own relationships.
For example: Maybe I think I don’t get along with my little sister because she’s annoying and has all the wrong opinions. (Keep in mind that this is just an example, TT). But maybe my older sister who witnesses our bickering ALL THE TIME says that it’s because I’m stubborn and moody and seem to like arguing. Like I said, this is ONLY AN EXAMPLE.
But it gets the point across I think.
So what makes people get along? What makes people attracted to one another? Sorry, I can’t give you any real scientific answers there. I think a healthy relationship requires willingness to see others opinions and realize that you’re not always right. (I mean, I usually am, but we won’t get into that…) Some people say that opposites attract. Others think that the more similar you are to another person, the better you will get along. I’d say it’s a mix of both. Besides, if we were the same as another person, what would there be to talk about? It would be boring because you would agree ALL THE TIME. On the other end, if people are too different, they would argue ALL THE TIME.
I do think it is important to have SOMETHING in common with another person with whom you are trying to have a good relationship with. Where would you go without that? And here’s where yesterday’s quote comes in.
Have you ever read the book ‘Paper Towns’ by John Green? If you have not, I suggest you get on over to your nearest library and request a copy. Or, use the internet. That’s probably the more popular choice in our tech-based era. But however you do it, do it quickly. Also, you should read ‘The Fault in Our Stars’ by the same author. AMAZING. Anyway. The quote from PT is “Just remember that sometimes, the way you think about a person isn’t actually the way they are.” And the other half that I didn’t put up last night: “People are different when you can smell them and see them up close.” Thank you, Mr. John Green. (Find his awesome vlog on YouTube: vlogbrothers) Anyway, I think that quote is rather spectacular, because it not only talks about first impressions (looking at our relationships one-sided-ly), but how people smell! Isn’t that fabulous!
I think that if we get to know people EVEN BETTER than we already do!!! Yes EVEN BETTER!!! Than we will get along with them better. Or perhaps on a slightly less exclamatory note, realize that our puzzle pieces just don’t seem to snap as nicely as before. And that is a very scary thought.
I think so at least. Your opinions may differ. Which is AWESOME because everybody loves a nice, good-natured debate. I would love to hear your ideas!!! (Leave a comment.)
I hope this post wasn’t as ADD as yesterday’s… Love you all!!! ❤
Tremendously Terrific Twelve (Black Rebel Motorcycle Club station):
“The Toll” and “All You Do is Talk” by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
“The Glow” by Sam Rosen
“Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana
“Little Bird” and “Effect and Cause” and “Seven Nation Army” by The White Stripes
“All Hands Against His Own” and “Unknown Brother” and “Ten Cent Pistol” by The Black Keys
“Dull Life” by Yeah Yeah Yeahs
“Listen My Son” by The Unseen Guest